I too have had those same thoughts as you. How I thought everyone and everything around me would be better off if I would cease to exist. They linger, sometimes even for days, weeks and months.
I used to just lie in bed, thinking about how alone I was in my thoughts and how I thought no one would ever understand how I felt. Sometimes I was too ashamed to seek help, afraid that I was just an “in the moment” case for doctors. Let me reassure you that is not the case. These individuals tend to wake up in the morning, ready to help because they genuinely do care. They establish a relationship with you, and spend countless hours trying to find resources for you to help you get the help you need.
Remember though, you have to be willing to help yourself. Take a look around you. You see the trees and that beautiful sunrise outside of your home? Do you feel those kisses your dog gives you out of pure love and adornment? Do you love the comforting embrace of your mom or dad when you’re having a bad day? I know I do. I constantly remind myself that if I were to cease to exist that I would never be able to have those again. I listen to a song on the radio that I enjoy, and remind myself that if I were to cease to exist, I would never be able to hear that sound again. If you cease to exist, you’ll never have the chance to fall in love, and you take away someones chance of being loved by a beautiful soul like your own.
If you cease to exist, you don’t only take things away from yourself, but also to those that love you and want the chance to love you. I spend my time writing these blogs to remind you that you have so much to live for. You have a purpose, and I fully believe that my purpose is to help you- my readers. If you’re feeling down and helpless, take a walk outside and take the time to feel. Remind yourself of how precious and beautiful life is- even the small things.